Since I started this venture, I kept myself locked in small formats.
For what? Scared of loosing too much material. time. money. whatever. In the end, it just pissed me off. Badly. What’s the use?!?! In my head, it’s all about large canvases. All the time, It’s getting bigger and bigger in my head. Painting, sculptures, well hell yeah, but not if it can go through the door! (We will deal with the problems related to that statement later!) It’s like a Jenny Saville painting, it’s a blast in the face, you get in the room and baaaammmm, you’re destroyed by the weight of what’s in front of you. Could be this. Could be that. either way you are crushed.
I mean, yeah, small format has its use, but in the end, I look at it and I feel like him doing shit. So I stopped whining, put on the largest piece of paper on the wall, and threw myself at it with a piece of charcoal like there was no tomorrow. “Now canvas… it’s between you and me. And I ain’t coming down without a fight.” That’s what I wish I had said. something like that, or even better: “If we’re about to die anyway, I’d rather die fighting!” (awwww Neverending story…)
I was Atreyu for a second. Here’s what came out.
I’m happy. It’s not much about the end result actually. it was the fight. Intense, and actually quite short. After two hours I had nothing left in me. I left the studio, had a good sleep, and then came back several days later to finish the last details. I hope this piece transmit the intensity I had when I was drawing.
I like it for now, I’ll pursue in that vein. I want to go on with the same energy, so I started a new one already. hopefully, I will not trash it before the end, but lets not give a damn for the moment shall we. I’ll just concentrate on doing what I want.